Weaning Off Deenaaa

*uwaaaaaaa*

Harus lah mak yg sedih terlebih. Balik2 hospital terus Deena lari nak peluk. "Mamaaa mamaaaa" pastu tunjuk2 "shushuuu shushuuu" tunjuk2 bilik "bombom bombom kukak shushuuu". Ok all this while I olz mmg feed Deena sambil baring. Senang x penat. Deena dlu berat uolz. Lenguh mak. So smpi ke besa die used to nurse sambil baring. Oh back to the story. Die dah nak susu le pulakkkk.

"Ok wait eh, mama wash hand first then mama susu Deena kay". Sambil iolz pg dapur lelaju n mmbncuh nescafe pekat sambil doa Allah permudahkn proses wean off ni utk aku n Deena. Pas dah bancuh smpi consistency die ala2 inai tu, iolz pun tempek dkt n****e both sides. Pastu Deena dah tarik2 masuk bilik.

Smpi bilik, Deena selak baju nursing and buat muke pelik sbb ade macam kotor (nescafe tadi la kan) kat n****e. Pastu die pandang and tunjuk "mamaaa tityyy" (translate: mama dirty). Pastu iolz belakon muke sakit "aah dirtyy, mama sakitt, susu sakitt, cannot susuuu". Deena buat muke xpuas hati tp teragak2 nk minum. Tp slowly die try hisap gak then br terhisap sket die buat muke tergamam pastu nk nangis. Habis nescafe mlekat2 kt bibir. Kesiannnnn. Iolz terus ckp "haaa kan susu spoiled. Yeyeekkk cannot drink". Die still lg terpinga2 muke nk nangis. Pastu bwk klua and tok ummi dah ready tros basuh mulut die bagi minum air lain. Tokki tros amek ckp susu dah x boleh minum n bawak jalan2 kt taman takut die trauma.

Balik je taman saje iolz test "meh nak susu x? Jomm". Deena terus buat muke geli "akittt akittt yekkkk".

2-3 hari jugak Deena xdpt tdo mlm sbb she used to be nursed to sleep. Thank you Mr. R sbb gigih dukung, pujuk and dodoi Deena smpi tertidor and it took hours and esoknye dah la Mr. R kejee. Pastu memalam merengek2 smpi la penat n tertido balik sbb biasenye die terbangun malam utk susu and iolz nurse die smpi die sleep balik. Huu..

Setiap hari bile die tidur bisik dkt die knape mama terpaksa stopkan bf dkt die abruptly and knp mama x boleh dukung dah..

Things get easier day by day..

Smoge Deena x benci mama..

Mama sayang Deena and adik..

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal.

Pregnancy + Bleeding

Its a hectic week and me and my team have to work thru weekend and public holidays (2nd and 3rd Feb) to catch the due date. Working till mid night almost every day to work with team in Houston.

Saturday (30th Jan)- I've excused myself from working to attend my cousin's wedding just for today.

Sunday (1st Feb) - rush back to the office to continue working. Was there from 8.00 am to 6.20pm. Realized having heavy spotting in the afternoon. We are so bz and dont really have time for lunch. Had few slices of dominoes pizza ordered by the lead. Yeah and thats it for the whole day. 

6.20pm driving back home. At home, while having a shower I can feel that I am bleeding. Keeping my mind positive - maybe I am just tooo tired. I asked Mr R to take care of Deena while I took a short nap. Wake up - still the same. We decided to go to emergency. 

Being checked and scanned. Alhamdulillah the fetus is still there with a regular shape womb (which means the pregnancy is still healthy). But the bleeding indicates threatened miscarriage. Just like my previous pregnancyyyyy. So Im warded for further monitoring (againnn just like previous pregnancy).

* i dont have morning sickness at all in both pregnancies. So I guess bleeding is actually 'replacing' the morning sickness. Haha. I am fine and redha as long as the baby inside me grows perfectly and healthily. 

The next day, specialist comes and do another detail scan and this time listening and charting fetus' heartbeats as well! Doc said: strong and healthy beats! Nah listen. listening to this will gives you more confidence that the baby is strong inside.

Me: Alhamdulillah T_T

Doc: But the bleeding need to be adressed as well. You are subjected to a week bed rest and 3 months light duty with immediate effect. We'll see bi-weekly to monitor.

Me: Doc, the single room is still full while my 21 months daughter is still breastfeeding. Can i continue bedrest @home so that I can breastfeed her.

Doc: Nope. For healthy pregnancy breastfeeding is allowed but in bleeding case, breastfeeding need to stop. You rejected duphaston, then you need to follow this instruction. The sister is big enough, you've done a great job fully bf her this far. You've gained a lot of pahala sunnah. Its time to let go.

Me: ok this gonna be hard for me and her. I've tried once when clinic advised the same but Deena cried till she vomits and has no voice and I gave up.

Doc: I've went thru the same situations and most peoples do. Bear in mind she is almost 2 and with your medical condition, its not sinful to do so. Use nescafe or jaddam. Rub in on your nipple and tell her your nipple is sore and the milk is spoiled. Let her taste if she wants. Pray to Allah to ease the abrupt wean off process. InsyaAllah she'll be just fine.

Me: okay doc..huuuuuuu

Late evening - doc allow me to be discharged with strict bed rest instruction and NO breastfeeding allowed.

Do I really follow? See my next post ;)

What? I am pregnant?? Like seriouslyyyy

16 Jan -

Tgk cermin. "Isk apsal perut makin buncit nii n seluar tetibe ktat plak nii. Tu lah minum ais 24 jam lpas pantang then every time mkn ulang air. Dah la dlu pantang tah pape. Hishh start mlm ni pkai girdle umi bagi dulu balik lahh. Malu kot badan kurus perut munscits"

*pastu almost every night tdo pakai girdle sbb risau seluar ttbe x muat. Padahal lpas bersalin deena dlu pon rilek je pkai seluar lame siap longgar lagiii

22 Jan-

Pening kepala and sakit perut gile. 

"Hadoii time2 ni la nk food poisoning kann. Pening smpi rase nk muntah plakk..."

Ade presentation kt ofis, after present pagi tu, met and ckp dgn bos sakit perit gile so mntk balik nk jumpe doc. Bos said " sure, just make sure u r reachable thru phone ya". Ait ait boss!

Pikir2 nak pegi jmpe pakar sakit puan sbb Deena still breastfeed so period x dtg smpi Deena 18 months then dtg skali then x dtg2 dah smpi skarang - like 3 months ago. 

Pnah consulted a doc previously - Paed Deena (ex-gynae) ckp normal tp time sakit2 ni terfikir endometriosis lah bagai kann. Quite a number of my gf yg dpt pnyakit2 perempuan ni and since iolz pon mmg jenis x health concern n mkn fast foods - risau jugak lah kan kena (time ni baru nak beringat kannnn..motifff)

Tp fikir balik x larat lah pulak dgn pening kpale nk beratur pnjg jmpe gynae. Konfem ptg2 ni dah xdpt jmpe. Pegi lah Lita Alia sajee.

Dalam bilik doc-

Doc: haa sakit ape? (ni mmg ayt template doc2 aku rase)

I olz: saye rase saye endometriosis.

Doc: kenape ye? Klo endo kne tros refer hospital, clinic x boleh handle. Pnah diagnosed and treated for endometriosis ke before ni? 

I olz: oo ntah la sbb saya bf baby so x period for 18 months then period skali then xperiod2 dah smpi 2-3 bln. Pastu skarang sakit perut teruk smpi pening2 nk pitam sume. Ade few kwn saye kne endo jugak so takut saye pon ade.

Doc: ouh la ye kee. Ingt mmg dh pnah diagnosed. *checking my bp and body temp*. Hrmm bp normal, badan panas demam ni. Xpe kite test urine dlu kot2 kencinh kotor ke ape.

*so i olz pon pg toilet, weewee sebekas and 'donate' dkt nurse. Kihkih.

* doc suro tggu luar dlu and die entertain few other patients.

Nurse: Pn Azie, masuk

Doc : senyum2

I olz: kencing kotor ke doc? Ade endometriosis?

Doc: hish awak ni. Alhamdulillah tahniah mengandung. Dah terang dah line ni haa. Kencing kotor xde pon.

I olz: haaa? boleh pcaye ke ni doc? Sebab saye (bla bla blaaa blaa discuss panjang dgn doc)

Doc: kun fa yakun. Jaga diri. Nak scan skarang ke kalau xpercaya lg. tp rase baru ni x nmpk ape sgt. Lg 2 mggu dtg scan balik kay? So saye bg acid folic je ok?

I olz: err ok. Er acid folic xpayah la doc. Sy mmg x mkn ubat. 

Doc: ade morning sickness x? If boleh mkn berkhasiat then xpe.

I olz: x morning sickness pon. X kottt. Anyway thank you doc and nurse. Ouh nak stick tu bleh? Saye ni x pnah mrase nak test sndri. Anak 1st pon doc jugak yg detect.

Doc: tu lah smpi ke endometriosis awak fikir. Complicated!

Keluar2 tros snap test stick doc nihh n text Mr R. Haha. Unexpected but of course we are happy and cant wait to see him/her! Alhamdulillah...

May Allah protects the baby and may he/she grows healthily in my womb and safely delivered once the time comes.

*semoga yg terpakai girdle awal2 tu x effect baby*

Ameen.

Come back!

Hahahahaha (lough out loud)

Ok its been a 1.5 year without me writing or even drop by at my own blog!

Sorrylah babes. Keje iolz sgt demanding - 24/7 con call offshore support etc. syukur je lah asal ade keje dpt duit nak shopping kannsssss. Ikhlas ikhlass.

As usual, bile dah bed rest ke dlm pantang ke ape. Baru lah bosan xde keje n terhegeh carik blog balik nak berblog *fuhh fuhhh tiup habukkk

Yeah, u read it right. I am bed rest-ed now! And againnnnn for the 2nd timeeee!

WHY?

Ok I olz story mory in the next post lah eh?

Biase lah ala ala drama gitteww. Bile klimaks mesti TO BE CONTINUED. Stay tuneeeee darlings. XOXO